it wasn't lemon gatorade
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize