The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
