My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
