something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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