She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
