Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Randomize
