I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
