brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
My dick has a subreddit
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
