Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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