I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
