Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize