adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
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