grandma shit on top of the toilet
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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