I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
