i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize