So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
