I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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