i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
