Why are handjobs necessary in class?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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