I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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