remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
