You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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