well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Barsexuality is the new black.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Randomize
