I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
