I hate all girls vehemently.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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