Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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