Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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