We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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