Its about making memories worth repressing
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
