margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
