would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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