At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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