I'm gonna have a badass scar
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
