No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i think i have herpe
just one?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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