So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
