How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Randomize
