Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Porn is love you can see.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I don't think brook has ever known best
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
