Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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