We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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