playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
