I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
