we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize