when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
