I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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