i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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