They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
This is classic penis vs brain.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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