Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
