You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
