Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
