the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
