ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
