Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
