dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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