@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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