I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
