That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
she woke up with a sticky ear
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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