i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Randomize
