we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
