Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
