Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
