Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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