i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
