It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
this just has baby written all over it
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize