6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
