Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
