i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she peed on how many people?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
