She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
