i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
do nipples grow back?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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