For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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