Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
