Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
