did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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