I could have mohawked her pubes.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
