Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
