I hate your face
Sponge bath it is.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
