I am full of burrito and curiosity
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
