Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Randomize
